FAYETTEVILLE--To say that Aaron Leslie has come a long way would be an understatement.
On Halloween last year, Leslie’s car ran off the road in the early morning on Highway 16, flipping over a bridge and plunging into the cold waters of the White River.
Leslie, who was traveling from his father’s house to his mother’s before school, was trapped underneath the vehicle for nearly 15 minutes before emergency responders and passersby could assist him.
Upon being reached, Leslie didn’t have a pulse, but the EMT’s managed to revive him once they got him into the ambulance.
It was a nightmarish time for Leslie’s parents, who share custody of their son.
At the time, it was unclear what would come of Leslie. He had significant brain damage as a result of being underwater for so long.
And he was comatose in the hospital for days before he came around.
Friends of Leslie began pouring into the hospital daily with cards, flowers, and support for him and his family as he began the road to recovery.
Chaz Williams, 18, is one of Leslie’s best friends, and he says that Leslie is an inspiration to him every day for overcoming enormous odds.
“I became good friends with Aaron sophomore year [of high school], and we’re now best friends,” Williams said. “We’ve had a lot of great times together and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”
Leslie, now 17, attends Fayetteville High School and has a select group of friends who he is close with, but is well thought of by all he comes into contact with.
Before the accident, Leslie was fairly outgoing and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, although primarily sticking close to his friends.
Now that he’s had a lot of the memories of his school years wiped away along with re-learning some basic skills and concepts, he has acted noticeably different while at school.
Marshall McComas, who has attended school with Leslie since junior high, said that Leslie is a different person since the accident.
“He’s definitely not the same as he was before the accident,” McComas said. “I have a friend who goes to school with us who works at Harp’s, and he went up to him [Leslie] while he was working and he tried to talk to him and he just acted real confused.”
What some may not realize is that Leslie’s progression is fluctuating day-by-day.
Some days, he may make major strides and remember things just like they were, but at other times, he is slow to pick up the pieces.
“Aaron’s progression was really rapid at first,” Williams said. “It’s become a much slower pace as of late, but he continues to get better all the time. As long as he keeps getting better he has a chance at a full recovery.”
2 comments:
Derek,
I think the topic is a strong one with a lot of potential. I like the idea of the lede, but I'd try to get a more of a recovery angle a bit and be just a tad more specific. I think that's what is huge.
Little things: I'd try to get a quote up a little bit somewhere. I'm sure you have more reporting, so perhaps you'll find something you like a little better.
I like the quote at the end. I wouldn't change that, as it shows the progress the student is making and is a positive ending to the story. Overall, good job.
I still like this subject matter, but you've got work to do.
The lede is uninspired and unacceptable. It's a "talkie" lede. It doesn't have anything for the reader to visualize or pique his imagination. This is a story rife with drama. Use it. Remember, this is feature writing. That means writing feature ledes.
Also, I want scenes in this story of not only the accident, but of Leslie today. You should be with him at home, at school, whatever you can do.
What's hurting this story most is the lack of a nut graf. You dive right into the accident in great detail. Hold onto that information. Give us an overview. Tell us about the accident and the people but more importantly, tell us about Leslie today. Get the news in the front half of the story. THEN take us back and give us the blow-by-blow account.
why the possessive?
EMT’s
This seems a bit too obviously stated. Show their panic instead of telling us about it. Get from them the details of their reactions. Do the reporting.
--It was a nightmarish time for Leslie’s parents, who share custody of their son.
didn't he attend high school at the time of the accident?
--Leslie, now 17, attends Fayetteville High School and has a select group of friends who he is close with, but is well thought of by all he comes into contact with.
You're skipping over a major part of the drama: the recovery. Give me details.
--Friends of Leslie began pouring into the hospital daily with cards, flowers, and support for him and his family as he began the road to recovery.
Chaz Williams, 18, is one of Leslie’s best friends, and he says that Leslie is an inspiration to him every day for overcoming enormous odds.
Rather than giving us a second-hand account, find the person McComas is talking about and interview HIM about this exchange. Then it's a first-hand account.
--“He’s definitely not the same as he was before the accident,” McComas said. “I have a friend who goes to school with us who works at Harp’s, and he went up to him [Leslie] while he was working and he tried to talk to him and he just acted real confused.”
We need expert medical opinions on Leslie, as well as the views of parents and other family members -- not to mention the subject himself. Where is Leslie in this story? Did you interview him? Also, we need scenes. Spend time with the subject and put us in his world.
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