Saturday, October 17, 2009

News Feature II

FAYETTEVILLE—Driving down the road, the person operating the vehicle sends a text message to one of his friends, trying to figure out what they will do on a boring Monday night.
Unbeknownst to this 25-year old male, a young girl is attempting to cross the road.
And with his eyes on his iPhone instead of what’s in front of his car, he hits the little girl with his car, killing her instantly.
This is the danger of text messaging while at the control of a motor vehicle.
The state of Arkansas recognized that fact by making it illegal earlier this month to text on a mobile device while driving.
Anything other than concentrating on the road is dangerous while driving, but texting involves having the eyes on the phone the entire time, whereas talking on the phone can involve the use of a headset or a hands-free device.
In 2008 alone, Arkansas police reported 787 auto crashes that occurred involving cellular devices, but Arkansas has only been tracking cell phone roles in accidents since 2007.
The state decided to take action by introducing a bill in the state senate that would ban text messaging from all drivers.
A law, “Paul’s Law,” was drawn up by state Rep. Ray Kidd, D-Jonesboro, with its objective to get texting outlawed completely.
It is known as “Paul’s Law” at the request of an Arkansas State student whose father was killed by a driver who was texting and hit him.
“We hope and pray it’s going to save lives in Arkansas,” Kidd said.
It didn’t go through exactly how Kidd wanted, but it did manage to get teenage drivers disallowed from texting.
“Some law is better than no law,” Kidd said.
18 to 20-year old drivers must have a hands-free device if they are to talk on the phone and are not to engage in “interactive communication,” which is defined as text messaging and typing.
Violators of the law can receive a fine of up to $100, and it is considered a primary offense.
What has become interesting, however, is how police officers will enforce the new laws.
It’s easy to see if drivers on the phone usually because they will not drive as fast or will be swerving in out of their lanes, but sometimes they can disguise whether or not they are on the phone by placing it in their lap or memorizing the keyboard and not looking at it.
“I’m going to have trouble enforcing it,” Springdale police officer Blake Reed said. “I’m not used to looking to see if people are on their phones.”
With a world increasingly relying on digital media and technology, it’s hard to not constantly be on a phone or a data provider.
Even while driving, because sometimes information doesn’t care if someone is in a car or asleep.
Some people even feel that there are worse distractions that can contain their attention in the car other than texting.
“I don’t think it should be illegal, because there are so many distractions possible while driving that aren’t illegal,” Gina Smith, a Fayetteville citizen, said.

1 comment:

Bret Schulte said...

I see what you're trying to accomplish with the lede, but this isn't an anecdote. It's a generalized scenario. We need real people in a real situation. Do the reporting to get the stories.

Not sure what your nut graf is trying to say. What's the angle here. It sounds like you're trying to justify the legislature's decision, which is not your job.
--The state of Arkansas recognized that fact by making it illegal earlier this month to text on a mobile device while driving.
Anything other than concentrating on the road is dangerous while driving, but texting involves having the eyes on the phone the entire time, whereas talking on the phone can involve the use of a headset or a hands-free device.

Says who?
--In 2008 alone, Arkansas police reported 787 auto crashes that occurred involving cellular devices, but Arkansas has only been tracking cell phone roles in accidents since 2007.

So what did he want to pass?
--“Some law is better than no law,” Kidd said.
18 to 20-year old drivers must have a hands-free device if they are to talk on the phone and are not to engage in “interactive communication,” which is defined as text messaging and typing.

AP style and grammar:
18 to 20-year old drivers must have a hands-free device if they are to talk on the phone and are not to engage in “interactive communication,” which is defined as text messaging and typing.

Work harder on your transitions:
--What has become interesting, however, is how police officers will enforce the new laws.

Syntax:
--It’s easy to see if drivers on the phone usually because they will not drive as fast or will be swerving in out of their lanes, but sometimes they can disguise whether or not they are on the phone by placing it in their lap or memorizing the keyboard and not looking at it.

Good quote and reporting:
--“I’m going to have trouble enforcing it,” Springdale police officer Blake Reed said. “I’m not used to looking to see if people are on their phones.”

Avoid generalized/obvious statements:
--With a world increasingly relying on digital media and technology, it’s hard to not constantly be on a phone or a data provider.
Even while driving, because sometimes information doesn’t care if someone is in a car or asleep.

Tell us why her opinion matters. Is she someone who frequently texts while driving? how come? Does she not believe it's not dangerous?
--“I don’t think it should be illegal, because there are so many distractions possible while driving that aren’t illegal,” Gina Smith, a Fayetteville citizen, said.

The conclusion needs a lot of work. Also, to reiterate: your lede needs real people in a real situation that speaks directly to your nut graf.